My grandad’s dog died.
He was an old dog, but that doesn’t make it any easier.
He was my grandad’s companion. They spent every hour of every day together and he was everything to my grandad since his wife passed away.
I went to visit him to see how he was holding up; he told me how he had taken him for a walk on the Sunday in the park, then to the forest in the evening. He had seemed fine.
However, on Sunday night he started to have difficulties breathing. He woke my grandad up during the night and my grandad told me how he had stroked his chest, cuddled him in bed and talked to him softly. He gave a little whimper and he was gone.
It absolutely broke my heart sitting opposite him listening to that story. He said: “I don’t know what to do with myself now”.
BPD and others’ emotions
BPD is not all about attention and it’s not all about my emotions.
Although there is a lot out there about difficulty maintaining relationships and difficult family relationships, those relationships we do have can be even stronger than your average relationship.
What can I do?
I lay awake all night. I’ve tried to find a word to describe to you how I feel and I’ve just deleted all of them. In all honesty I am a whirlpool of emotions.
For me, seeing my grandad so heartbroken and in so much pain is a little more than I’m equipped to handle. As Mr. Robin Williams said, I don’t want anyone else to feel so awful and I lay awake thinking of how I could fix it; even though there really isn’t a way I can ‘fix’ it.
He was at a loss about what to do with all of his dog toys, little jackets, dog bowls etc. So from a practical standpoint we have offered suggestions and assistance with finding somewhere for these to go where they will be used.
From an emotional standpoint… the only thing I can do… is be there.