“Sorry I’m late” with the internal (I didn’t want to come) is currently my life.
Me and my other half had tickets to a show last Sunday. I didn’t want to leave the house so I rescheduled.
Today I didn’t even want to get dressed… so I rescheduled again.
The lady on the other end of the phone politely told me I wouldn’t be able to keep rescheduling… so I guess next week I will have to actually go outside.
Maybe.
Right now though, I’m sitting in my pyjamas eating cold plain chow mein and, honestly, feeling way more relieved than anything else.
I haven’t written a post in ages because I just can’t motivate myself. (Even this is going to be a short one).
Some days I have so much get-up-and-go, but at the moment I don’t even have ‘get up’.
No joke, I actually took my meds two hours late today so I didn’t have to stand up. *Slow clap*.
And the other week, my mental health supervisor went out of her way to get me a mentor because I’m struggling at university… what did I do?
Told the mentor I didn’t want any more sessions.
After one session.
Honestly I’m getting better at managing my self-destruct button, but I still haven’t found a way to deal with this lack of motivation problem.
I am exceptionally good at coming up with allll the excuses not to do anything.
Sometimes I don’t even need excuses I just don’t have the energy to care.
Any and all tips and advice welcome (please).
